When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
