You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
