yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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