So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
