Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
