i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
