i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
