I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
