idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
