the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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