But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
