Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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