my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
