Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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