Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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