Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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