if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
