we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
