i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
