my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
