I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Sacagawea was the original milf.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Two words: blizzard sex
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
