using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
