Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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