you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
