Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
