And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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