The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
