Do you still have your period?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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