think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
