So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Houston, we have a blender
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
