I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
