I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Enjoy the penises
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
