He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
