Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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