I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
