just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
