But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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