Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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