i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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