Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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