it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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