He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
smell my finger.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
