Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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