sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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