I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
