she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
