Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
