If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
