I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
