we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
